Evening Hosts Take Aim At Trump's Latest 'Gold Card' Residency Program

Late-night's top hosts devoted their evening criticizing ex-President Donald Trump's newly announced visa initiative, labeled the "golden visa," portraying it as a blatant pay-to-play system for the wealthy.

The Late Show's Pointed Take

Kicking off his broadcast, Stephen Colbert presented a sardonic Christmas song about the commander-in-chief. "He is making a list, reviewing it twice, and then giving that list to the agents at ICE," he sang. "The President ... destroys all he comes into contact with."

The focus was the controversial plan that allows overseas citizens to purchase U.S. residence for a sum of $1 million dollars, with a "top-tier" option for five million. A government website promises approval "with unprecedented speed."

"A brief thought for you to wealthy foreigners: before you fork over the cash, maybe think about Canada?" Colbert joked.

He pointed out that the scheme is also designed to "squeeze cash" from companies wishing to hire foreign workers, requiring large fees. "That's a lot of fees, but if you register, you also get two free nights at a property of your selection – as long as it's the that one hotel," he added.

"The most thorough vetting the U.S. government has before done," said Commerce Secretary Howard Lutnick, "a $15,000 vetting to verify these applicants truly are eligible to be in America."

"That's important, you have to prove you're suitable to be an American," Colbert said dryly. "Question one: how many hamburgers would you eat for a free T-shirt?"

Jimmy Kimmel's Humorous Commentary

On his own show, Jimmy Kimmel labeled the visa program the "U.S. Access Express Card."

"Here's a card that will let wealthy foreigners to live here," he said. "In exchange for a million bucks, you get legal visitor status, you get a road to citizenship, and a presidential pardon for one major crime of your choice."

"Maybe it's time to update that poem on the Statue of Liberty – never mind your tired masses. Give us a million bucks, you're in!" he remarked.

Kimmel lampooned the brevity of the form, observing it is "more difficult to start a Wordle account." He lamented that Trump "believes citizenship is something you can sell, like a timeshare."

"That's right, the top people are the rich people," Kimmel said. "That's what Jesus constantly said! Read it in the Bible. He says it's simpler for a camel to go through the eye of a needle provided that you offer the needle a million dollars."

Seth Meyers discussing Grocery Concerns

Meanwhile, Seth Meyers turned to Trump's plunging poll ratings during economic worries. "The public gave Donald Trump a another term since they were angry about the economy," he explained.

This week, in a bid to tackle prices, Trump held a press conference in front of a selection of food items, where he reacted oddly to some cereal.

"What a nice job, I think I'm going to take a few of them with me to my cottage and have a lot of fun," Trump said. "Like the Cheerios, I haven't had Cheerios in a long time."

"He's so extremely weird," Meyers reacted. "What do you mean, you're going to take them home to your cottage to have a lot of fun with them? What exactly happens with those Cheerios?"

Meyers concluded by mocking right-leaning news defenses of Trump's financial performance. "Perhaps instead of voicing concerns, you should give him a shiny trophy like the one FIFA did," he remarked.